I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Superpowers abound. Villains rule the world. A lone, exhausted, hero that just wants to quit.
Strong-armed by the Superhero Enhancement System into the thankless job of endlessly performing good deeds in a world where such actions are often met with violence, Lucas Lynn doesn't have much choice in regards to using his supposed gifts.
Being able to reincarnate isn't terribly appealing when you have to keep experiencing one horrible death after another, but hey, at least there's still pizza.
[Bzzt... Scan complete. Analyzing...]
[Analysis complete. Positive value found, now loading... Loading complete.]
'Okay, WTF is...'
[Binding successful. Congratulations upstanding citizen. You have been selected by the Superhero Enhancement System. Please select your desired enhancement. The following options are avail...]
'I'M DYING! IS NOT DYING AN OPTION!?'
[Error, invalid selection. An enhancement will be randomly selected. Randomizing... Strength has been selected. Enhanced strength will be calibrated for your rebirth. Please look forward to it.]
'WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F...'
With this final thought, Lucas has finished dying in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk.
Little character theater:
Lucas, attempting to broker a deal for benefits for his freshly forced vocation of heroic servitude: “Hey 427, do I at least get some vacation time?”
System # 427, completely deadpan: [...There's a new minor task available to the southwest. There's also a cute dog you can pet over there.]
Lucas, with newfound enthusiasm: “WHERE'S THE PUPPER!?”